First of all, I’m sorry for my bad English. It’s not my first language.
The situation I’m about to describe is very complicated (for me) and I need help to make the right decisions.
It all started a month and a half ago. We met after school for the first time(now it’s the last year and we are both in the same school for five years🥲). One of my classmates told me that she likes F1 too and I decided to talk about this topic with her. When I first saw her I thought how beautiful she is and etc. For the next few days I was thinking about her and how pleasant was our conversation. Soon I realized that I like her. On the following days we were not talking that much, simply because we were still strangers. On day I decided to talk to her during one of the breaks. I learned that she goes to acting classes so I asked her if she would like to escort her to that place. Everything went smoothly. After this we started to chat in Instagram. A week later we were invited to the birthday party of our friend and then I decided to ask the girl if she’d like to come to help me. She accepted again. We went to the shopping center and went to a store for the gift. We completed our job, but she wanted to go to a bookstore. I agreed. Just before leaving the mall she asked if we could go to get a milkshake so we went. I decided to pay for her drink. It was kinda smooth.
The things escalated at the party. Firstly it was late and I thought that it is a good idea to wait for her at the bus stop and to go to the party place together. I did it. Some people consumed alcohol including her. After some time one boy told her that he wants to tell her something and he wanted to go out with her. He grabbed her by the hand and went out(they were drunk). I decided to go after them because I was worried about her, simply because he was a total stranger and on top of that he was drunk, like very drunk. They were walking outside and after a few meters they sat on some stairs. They started talking and I saw that she is feeling a bit uncomfortable. Then I decided to sit right beside her, just to know that I am there to support her. The boy was talking about how he likes her and how he could do anything for her(he met her before 2 hours). Then he wanted to say something to her, so she asked me to go a bit further so he could end faster. I was three steps away from them so if something happens I could react. He started touching her and was about to kiss her, but she pushed him away(I started moving towards him, but stopped when I say that it’s under control). I decided to tell him something and I talked, after this they continued their conversation(later I understood that he didn’t want to make neither of us uncomfortable(it’s different story)). When we went back inside the building I saw her standing alone so I went to talk with her. At some point I told her that when I’m with her I’m feeling comfortable and in peace. She responded that she fells the same.
In the following week we started to talk more and more after school. Everything was fine until one day she asked me if we could talk about something. I realized what it will be. We met after school and started walking. After a few minutes I took the decision to start the conversation with expressing my feelings towards her. I said that I like her not only because she is extraordinarily beautiful, but also for the comfort, peacefulness and the feeling of being alive when I’m with her. She responded that she is peaceful with me and she finds similar comfort with people from her family, but she still doesn’t like me, because she didn’t have the time to. And she said that there are two problems that intrude her to enter in a relationship. The first one is because of other boys and men(they have never responded to her(boys) or took advantage because of her health issues(men)). And the other one is because of a third person(X) and that X likes me before we even met. So she doesn’t want to hurt X(she said that this is a problem until we are in school). Then I told her that I can wait for her and my feelings and intentions will not change. She asked me for a hug.
This week we continued to talk after school and yesterday I decided to tell her everything that I didn’t(I couldn’t tell because I wasn’t thinking properly at the time). So I got her a flower and I gave it to her and after a few minutes I started talking that I’ve been talking for the past few days about our conversation and I told her that I wanted her to know that I understand her and her trauma and I will wait, but while I’m waiting I’d like to be next to her and give her support and to feel free to lean on me, because I really care for her. She said that she knows that and again told me for the obstacles, but this time she said more, she was talking a bit more freely. At the end she gave me another hug.
Some of my friends are telling me that I need to let it go, others say that I have to continue to push, but to leave her some space. I feel that I have to continue pushing. That I have to show her that I’m not like the others. But I’m confused, because it’s my first time doing this thing(she has never been in a relationship before too).
Sorry for being so long
