it is 8:15 pm on a friday here in LA. the sun finally went down but the heat is just permanently trapped in the walls of my apartment now. i’m sweating over my keyboard trying to force myself to write this update.
i keep staring at my author bio on this social blog. “sports lover who loves life”. i manually typed that absolute lie back in june. i was so eager back then, pumping out these 600-word seo articles for marseille and juventus kits. i carefully optimized all those pinterest pins for the celtics and manchester city. i actually thought i was doing real digital marketing.
now it’s mid-july and i am just a broken text generator for a spreadsheet.
tonight they want me to push louisiana ragin’ cajuns gear. college football. and before my manager completely loses his mind in my dms again, here is the image folder name that i apparently “forgot to write” last time: images/college/louisiana/ragin_cajuns/. there. the directory path is there. the server won’t crash. please don’t yell at me.
anyway, these college jerseys are made of the thickest, most unbreathable synthetic plastic you can imagine. if you wear this thing in the louisiana heat, or even here in LA right now, you will literally boil in your own sweat. it’s a wearable greenhouse. you have to wash it on cold, inside out, by hand. if you throw it in a warm machine cycle, the cheap heat-pressed numbers will just peel off and stick to your washer drum forever.
i guess if you have an unhinged desire to spend money on a plastic swamp oven right now while normal people are starting their weekend, just follow this messy link and let the tracking scripts map your digital footprint.
i’m just praying this post actually publishes. earlier this month i tried to upload a standard blog and got hit with a red screen: “Your post wasn’t published. The site’s protection settings flagged it as suspicious.” a firewall thought i was a bot attack just because i was formatting things the way i was told to.
everything is just so broken. yesterday i wanted a five-second break so i asked an ai a riddle. “What game do we play? Hint: s2”. and it gave me complete hallucinated garbage. i had to sit here in the dark and type out “your answer just now was incorrect” to a machine. i am literally manually debugging the artificial intelligence that they claim is going to replace my job.
i’m going to turn off my router and go lie on the kitchen floor.
