The “first masturbation” post is really popular, but when was y’alls final masturbation ever? Mine came for me after i accidentally cut my nuts off. I no longer masturbate.

I dunno…this isn’t really funny

BlackParadePixie but it wasn’t meant to be…?

Well that would technically be your last masturbation

“It’s the final jerk-off, dududuu duu, dududu-duduuu…..”

Quackly so…you’re what, trying to be weird and awkward?

I want my final masturbation to be special, you know? With my closest family gathered around me, an orchestra playing “Ode to Joy” while I rub one out for the last time. And, just as I’m about to have an orgasm, I want them to play the final of the 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky, that part with the cannons, you know? And then we all eat cake.

can i be there letting off the fireworks

Final masturbation

BlackParadePixie

Yeah I’m calling bullshit

DavidM06

Maybe I don’t know what a toaster is, but I do have to say the toaster I have in my house is not something I will every put my nuts in

Pultost

Toasters should have a sticker on them, saying: “Warning! Tempting as it may be, do not place your testicles in toaster!”

radiogaga

Im guessing either a very thick slice toaster or very small testicles

Colin97

Just weirdness contained within. Toasters, nuts in toaster. What the fuck?

Maseb

just……….. i don’t even know

Pultost

KaraZor-El

BJade

That’s not the correct way to toast nuts

radiogaga

why toaster and not food processor

HeyCameron

Every time I saw this thread title, I kept thinking of someone on death row being given a final meal. Lol

radiogaga

HeyCameron I think death row might be preferable to having your balls toasted

Pultost

HeyCameron The guy be like "I’m not really hungry, but if I can jack off one last time, that’d be great (insert picture of the office guy with the mug here). 😛

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