Depressed Advice

Dog

I’m 17 and I moved to the US 2 years ago. I was dating this girl while I moved here and we dated for the 2 years. We broke up like 2 months ago maybe. (I personally think it was both of our fault). I know i might sound like a perfect delusional person when I write this but trust me I am well aware of what I am doing. Basically I think i fucked things up alot(mostly because timezone difference and i didnt ‘care’ for her) I think im a really caring person and I just messed up in how I convey my feelings. Anyways back to the point, these 2 months were okay for me. I was on a good streak and I was doing okay…still in the flat line but i was okay. A few days back I got sent a picture by one of my fast friends(we really just talked in school and lost contact after that) with her profile photo with someone else(who according to her was just a friend at the time). Even when I proceeded to tell that friend of mine that its none of my buisness she still told me that my ex was dating that guy. I was hurt. I am not hurt at the fact that she’s dating that guy. I just was hurt at the fact that it did not take much for her to move on. I here, am sitting, isolating myself from people because that relationship genuinely ruined my perspective on how people think and how to talk to people. I am sorry for this rant but this is the best place to post this thing(according to me). I go to the gym almost everyday and I have seen significant improvement in my lifestyle overall. I have built a bit of muscle and also my face has cleared up a bit from the acne I had. But I really dont know what to do with my social issues. For context, from the past few days a girl that i know from last year comes up to me and tries to talk to me everytime. It’s always her by the way, ive never approached her. She will sit with me in classes and stuff and whatever but I just dont know what to do. once we’re sitting i just dont know what to say so i stay silent. Again the reason for providing my previous relationship was just so you guys could get some context. I am genuinely happy for my ex because she is doing good now and im glad she finally found someone who she thinks genuinely cares for her. I just dont know what to do with my life. Coming from a country which is very different from the US i have very few friends. I dont aspire to be that typical popular guy, but sometimes the lack of people to talk to just makes me feel lonely. Anyways enough of the rant. I just want to know how to fix this. I am sorry for this long paragraph but this is practically the only place where I can vent out my feelings.

BlackParadePixie

You say there’s a lack of people to talk to…then you say that there’s a new girl coming and trying to talk to you. If you want people to stay interested in you…you’re going to have to say something. You don’t have to have an in depth super personal convo with everybody…but just find SOMETHING to talk about.

Dog

BlackParadePixie i get that trust me. But the problem that I face is that I dont know what to say. I’m an introvert. Where I come from most people just blend in together after a few days. The US however isnt like this. I;m not trying to make excuses here but I just dont know what to say. Basic small talk is okay I can manage but after that it just becomes awkward. I dont want like girls to stay interested in me or smth. I am far from ready for another relationship. I want like actual friends to talk to. This girl that I was talking about, she most likely has feelings for me according to my friends back in my home country.(she literally changed like all of her classes to sit with me and WAS OPEN ABOUT IT.)

so yeah

BlackParadePixie

So why bot just be friends with her? And maybe it turns into something more layer on?? But it doesn’t have to.

after_the_rain333

@Dog, I am in no way an expert in dating or anything, but yeah, I think you should try to talk to her. Even if you never date, at least you will have a friend to talk to. Plus, many girls like it when guys have friends that are girls. As for you exercising, you should make sure your motives are for confidence and well-being, not just for girls. I’m really sorry about what happened to you but I know you’ll find someone else.