need advice

nysuhhh

ive been feeling like shit this past month. it is exam week but its not due to that. i had a crazy as fuck mental breakdown in the first week of september i think. (dont remember the date.) it was batshit crazy, i dont know what triggered it but the next thing i know im sobbing because my 4 year old brother slightly slapped me when i tried to talk to him (its his way of playing lol). so yeah, i want to ask that how did you guys reach out to people? like about your suicidal tendencies? please dont reply ‘just say it’, because trust me i’ve tried. i have this fucked up kind of mindset where i think im just doing all this for self-pity and im having a hard time typing this out. but i dont want my brother and best friend to lose me. i told my friends about it in the past but they chose to laugh it off so idk. i did tell my best friend about it, she looked horrified and i just dont want to burden her i guess. but please give some advice on how i open up more about it, because i genuinely dont want to resort myself to decisions i may regret.

BlackParadePixie

what about your parents? a counselor at school? there are resources online also…there are phone lines numbers you can call, or even chat/text options if you’re really feeling like you need to reach out to someone.

nysuhhh

BlackParadePixie what about your parents?

my parents are the cause of 80% of my problems, they got the self-pity idea rooted in me in the first place. i would tell my school counsellor but im afraid she’ll call my parents or gossip around. ill try reaching out online though ty.

fvck_idk

I usually don’t go to parents I usally go to a school counselor (I know mine very well idk about u) or a very close freind who will actually help there is also hot lines you can call

nysuhhh

fvck_idk or a very close freind who will actually help

i told her about it in a joking type of manner, she like sorta yk that look that someone gives you that says “dont you fucking do it” but i just dk if im ready to like fully make myself vulnerable to her. i guess i just need to get the balls to actually tell her.

BJade

Try just writing down everything you feel, it might help to get the thoughts out somewhere, and maybe you could share it with someone you trust if you feel comfortable.

Not sure I can really help much with advice 😕 where I live seems pretty shit for that sorta thing (probably why I know a few people who have done suicide). We didn’t have anything like school councillors (till I read online about it didn’t know it was a thing) and usually get told “cheer up” or “deal with it” if you tell someone

nysuhhh

BJade Try just writing down everything you feel, it might help to get the thoughts out somewhere, and maybe you could share it with someone you trust if you feel comfortable.

i do this actually, but the thing is once i was out of the house and my mom cleaned up my desk and stuff and she found my diary. she showed it to dad and when i got back he was like- “i used to do this for attention too.” (i had written something about hating my family) i was glad they didn’t beat me up or anything so i just left it. i do still write stuff down but extremely carefully.

BJade “cheer up” or “deal with it”

here it’s like you’re attention seeking if you tell people. all i got in response when i told my friends was, “it happens sometimes.” i don’t think they believe me so yeah.

fvck_idk

I just go on video games late at night and talk to ppl about it…

after_the_rain333

I’m so sorry. We can always chat or you can try an online anonymous chat like HopeLine