Connor
Connor
I can relate. I’ve pushed away people I should’ve kept close right when I needed them. I kept secrets and isolated myself to the point where no one seemed to know my name aside from my family, who didn’t know anything about me besides that anymore.
That sense of guilt can be crushing. I hated my past self for what I did, and I was left to deal with the consequences. I felt like I had no way to escape from my past choices.
However, I’ve also been on the other side. I’ve been pushed away and watched friends isolate themselves from me. I’ve had them hurt me bad, then leave and never talk to me again.
To this day, I still miss them. I don’t miss what they did to me, but I still remember who they were beneath the sh*t piled up. And to this day, I wish with every inch of me that they would come back. That they would apologize and that they would forgive me as well. If nothing else, we would be able to look each other in the eye again without animosity.
The more we feel ashamed of our past actions, the more we continue them. Guilt shows moving forward and growing. Guilt is good. Shame does nothing. And believe me, most people are more merciful than you realize. No matter what we’ve distorted ourselves with, we can’t erase our desire to connect with others and to reconnect with who we’ve lost.
To the people in your life, you may be seen as lost. They want to see you again if you’d let yourself be found. I’d bet my savings that, with time, they’d forgive you. There’s nothing you can ever do that’s so bad it can’t be undone. Don’t take yourself too seriously, pal. You can’t destroy the world by yourself. 🤟
