Ok, I am answering this on the assumption that you are male.
I would say the first thing to know is that when we cum hormones are released into the blood with the effect that we are suddenly more relaxed and not horny any more. When I first started getting horny, and responded by masturbating, it felt like something had taken over my brain and driven me to masturbate then, once I’d cum, everything was back to normal and the horniness seemed like a temporary disturbance. That isn’t the same thing as being depressed or guilty, though.
Of course, over time, I got used to the horniness being something that was here to stay, so the state of being horny and wanting to do something that made me cum, whether that was masturbation or sex, was actually just as normal as not being horny.
Then, as you’ve discovered, being horny is something that is very hard to resist. If it were easy to resist, our species would probably have died out some time ago. So what happens is that, whatever views we have picked up about sexual things in general, or masturbation in particular, we still get horny and it still drives us to do it then, after we’ve cum, the horniness disappears and we are back in touch with whatever we were taught about sex and masturbation. So, if we have picked up generally positive views about sex and masturbation, that period after cumming can be one of relaxation and contentment, whereas if we have picked up negative views about sex, or masturbation in particular, that period after cumming is when we might feel guilty.
So, as we can’t really decide to ignore being horny, the only way out of feeling guilty after cumming, is to work though any negative ideas we may have picked up. Some things you may have picked up, and my tale on them, include:
a. That the teen years are too young for anything to do with sex and that being sexual (including getting horny) is something that should magically start upon becoming an adult. This is absolute nonsense. Puberty, and the increase in sex hormones that happens during puberty, is what turns us from non-sexual children into people with sexual feelings, i.e. who get horny. That doesn’t mean we need to rush into having sex, but we can’t just pretend puberty isn’t happening/didn’t happen.
b. That masturbation is an addiction to be fought, like smoking tobacco or snorting coke. Whilst it can be hard to resist, it is not an addiction in that sense as, unlike those, it is not harmful and the drive comes from within, not from previous experience or peer pressure.
c. That because the biological purpose of sperm is to get a woman pregnant and thus continue the species, ejaculating any other time is an abuse and should be avoided. This is also not true: sperm cannot be saved up for some future date when we want to become a father, as they have quite a short life. Even those who go on to become fathers cum thousands of times intending no-one to get pregnant for each time they do make someone pregnant. All abstinence would do is deprive us of pleasure and leave us tense and frustrated.
d. That masturbation saps our energy. Certainly, in the period I mentioned, just after cumming, we may not have much “get up and go”, but this is fairly short lived and is something to be enjoyed. Sometimes we need to experience contentment. Other than that, sperm and semen production is continuous so we cannot save the body any effort by abstinence and the exertion of getting to orgasm is good for us.
Some of the negative views also have a connection with religion.
