Seeing Ryan’s post makes me wonder how much it differs when the partner is another guy. I think, for us, unless we have jacked off like five minutes before hand, we’re always likely to be up for some kind of sexual activity whether it is full penetrative sex or something else and, if we don’t get the chance to get together that often we’re bound to want to seize the chance.
With a girl I have had the experience that how interested she is can vary according to where she is in her cycle. At one point she can be incredibly horny and, at another, completely disinterested. Much as I’d like to make the best of an opportunity, it also needs to be something you do because you will both enjoy it, not a service one person provides to another because they think it is expected.
I think the other thing is talk to each other. I think that can feel weird at the start, maybe more weird than actually having sex, but you should be able to tell each other things like: “Can we try the cowgirl position instead” or “Can you lick me/finger me a bit more first” and “this is the spot where it feels best” etc.
